Dearest girl,

I hear you on the dock every sunset. You stand by the edge and lean into the rail just enough so that I can see your reflection. Your eyes stare intently into the water, searching for something. You always look so lonely, so sad. You hum a soft melody and your feet slide through the wooden floor. Your shoes scratch at the wood as you drag them through it. I catch a glimpse of your shadow through the cracks on the floor as you spin with your arms held like wings around you. You jump and the thud completes your melody. I sit in between the rising waves and the damp rocks and listen. I’ve heard countless songs of countless creatures, but none as enchanting as the one you create every sunset.

Yet, yesterday, there was silence. You came to the dock as usual, and I waited hidden underneath, as usual. You leaned into the rail and looked down at your reflection. The first note escaped your lips and then, I heard a plop. Your face turned pale. You reached your hand out into the water but could not reach it. I swam closer to your reflection. Tears weld up in your eyes. You closed them and stood still until the sun disappeared. You left without making another noise.

I waited for you to leave and for the light of the moon to fall over the sea. I swam down past the rocks on the shore and onto the ocean floor. I saw it glisten in the white light, a silver chain with some small black beads in it. I wondered if perhaps it had been yours.

I’m leaving this bottle on the edge of the dock, where my hands can barely reach for I am not tall enough. With this letter, you will find your chain. I hope you are able to create your song once again.

Yours truly,

Vela

 

Dear Vela,

Thank you for returning my bracelet. It means a lot to me and I don’t know what I would have done if I had lost it. I don’t know how you managed to get it in the middle of the night in such freezing waters. I hope you’re alright.

Do I know you? I’m sorry if it is rude to ask like that, but this is such a small town, I figured I had already met everyone. Perhaps you could climb out of from under the dock one afternoon and you could dance with me. Or maybe we could just talk. Or just be together. I could use a friend. Or if you don’t want to, that’s fine too.

Why are you hiding from me? I’m not a bad person, at least I think I’m not. I’m not going to hurt you, or judge you for that matter. It’s not like I’m in a place to judge.

I’m tying your bottle to my scarf and hanging my scarf at the edge of the dock so that you can reach it better. It’s fine if you don’t want to write back, but if you do, it would make me really happy. I will still come every day and I will still dance for you even if you don’t answer. I do hope you answer.

Signed,

Kyra

 

Dearest Kyra,

Thank you for lowering the bottle so close to the water. I don’t think you’re a bad person. I wish I could climb up into the shore and join you. I wish I could move my feet through the dock just as you do and make that beautiful music instead of relying on my voice to form a melody I have no control ove. I wish I could gaze at you, not through a reflection, but straight at you with my own eyes. I wish I could be the friend you need, but it is not so simple.

You see, I’m not supposed to be here, under the dock, watching you. You do not know me because I am not from here. I wandered to this place one afternoon in hope of being alone. Yet, you came. I sat by the rocks and watched the sunset until your feet stepped onto the dock. I froze. My heart raced. You looked down and I thought for sure you would find me there. I couldn’t tell how you would react and I still can’t. I wouldn’t have come back, but then, you started making music. The world fell silent and all that was on my mind was that I had to come back. I had to hear you again.

My obsession with your music has made me risk both of us time after time. I’m afraid I cannot be your friend and I cannot be with you, but if you would allow me to listen in silence as you dance, I would be very grateful.

Yours truly,

Vela

 

Dear Vela,

I don’t know if I wasn’t supposed to do it, but I sat by the road tonight. I guess I was just curious. I sat by my bike and crossed my legs so you couldn’t see my shadow, and I waited. I know you told me it was dangerous and all, but I couldn’t help myself.

I’m not from here either. At least I wasn’t until a couple of weeks ago. Like I told you, there aren’t a lot of people around here. Everyone already has their little group of friends and I can’t seem to fit into any. They won’t let me in. And then, you said you were alone. I’m alone. I thought perhaps we could be alone together. Maybe you could be my first friend here, and I know you said you couldn’t but I don’t have much of a choice anymore. You’re my last shot.

So I stayed and watched the ocean until the sky was dark and I could barely see a thing. And it is because I could barely see a thing that I want to ask you. I thought I saw someone in the waves swim out from underneath the dock and disappear into the water. I think, no, I know I saw very long hair and… I think I saw a tail. Is that right? I mean, I could have been seeing a shadow or some trick of the light, but it looked a lot like a large tail. I know it might be stupid to ask. Are you, well, do you have legs?

Signed,

Kyra

 

Dearest Kyra,

You did see me.

Your eyes did not deceive you. I do not have legs.

I cannot leave the water to dance with you.

I am not human.

I’m afraid my throat gets hoarser with every letter that goes by. I do not think it is safe for us to continue to write to each other. I will try to keep myself from coming back, but my lack of will power will drag back here as it has every day since I first heard. Perhaps it would be safer if you ignored my existence and I pretended I didn’t exist.

Yours truly,

Vela

 

Dear Vela,

So you are a mermaid. I still can’t fully wrap my head around that. I don’t understand why you keep saying its so dangerous for us to talk. No one has to know. I haven’t told anyone, not even my dad. We could keep this a secret.

I haven’t talked to anyone since I got here, not like this, not so open. I haven’t told anyone how I’ve been feeling but you. You’re the only one that knows how lonely I am. How desperate for anyone I am. I don’t care what it takes. I love writing to you. It makes me feel, well, not alone.  Please, don’t leave me alone.

Signed,

Kyra

 

Dearest Kyra,

I’m sorry I’ve left you alone for so long. I’ve been visiting you every day since you last wrote. I cannot keep myself away from you and that scares me massively. I see you as you pull out bottle out of the water with your scarf and look into it, hoping to find a letter from me. My heart breaks every time you drop it back into the water.

My throat is not getting better so I must leave you soon and not come back. You see, I’ve been falling in love with your dancing, with your reflection, with your melodies. I’ve been reading the letters you’ve written to me over and over. It doesn’t matter how hard I try to get rid of them, I can never force myself to.

I’m afraid the longer I stay, the more I fall in love with you and a mermaid can’t fall in love with a human. When she does, she sings one last song and then ceases to be able to sing. That one last song is one full of passion, intimacy, love. That song is meant for only one person to hear and it has only purpose. That is the song that drowns her lover.

If I fall in love with you, you will die and I will lose what defines any mermaid. That is why we can’t talk anymore. That is why I must leave you alone.

Yours truly,

Vela

 

Dear Vela,

Please, just let me see you. Just once. I want to see your face and know that even for a little bit, someone here cared about me. I swear that if you do, I won’t look for you or talk to you anymore. Just let me say one final goodbye.

Signed,

Kyra

 

Dearest Kyra,

I should say no. I must say no. Yet I find myself saying ‘only once’. Tonight, after the sun sets, climb under the dock. There we shall meet for the first and the last time. I won’t say a word for I might start to sing. I would love to see your face one last time before we part ways. This is my final goodbye. Remember that in this little town you found someone who loved you. You deserve to be loved. Have a good life, my love.

Yours forever,

Vela

 

My dear Vela,

I’ve lost count of the years since I last wrote to you. I’m amazed that the bottle is still hanging right where I last left it. I was hoping to find some lost letter I never received but it seems you kept your word and left. I don’t even know if you’re ever going to read this or even if you are still alive. I want to thank you for the kiss you let me give you under the docks before we both left. I still remember every detail of how your lips felt on mine, of how your hands pulled on my hair and dug into my neck. And your eyes, how they shone like stars over the sea.

I never told you the reason why I moved to this little town was because my mom had recently died and I had to live with my dad. I had lost hope of ever being happy again, of ever feeling love again. And you came along and with that single instant in time, you gave me back the hope I lost.

I’ve grown and I’ve made my life and I’m sure you’ve made yours. But I don’t think I would have been able to move forward if I hadn’t met you. Thank you. For everything.

Yours forever,

Kyra

Advertisements